With so many tasks to complete and so many ideas I want to start, it’s often difficult to point out to myself which tasks are directly related to my paycheck. It seems everything I spend time on will have an impact or has a potential for an impact. However, when I really break it down, only a few are immediately associated with the stream of actual tangible income.
Really, is the topic today about financial issues and earning incoming?
No, not for me.
In times like these, where money is tighter and sales aren’t necessarily growing, it is indeed important to focus on where the money is coming from – do the tasks that will result in the best (not necessarily largest or fastest) return. However, for me the emotional bank account is what seems to be taking the greatest hit.
I am finding that the more people I worry about and the more tasks I assign myself, the less I’m taking care of myself. Really, we’re supposed to take care of ourselves first, right? How is that possible when we have kids and spouses and extended family and friends and associates and colleagues and even the new unknown people we are trying to connect with… all around us… all the time? The answer isn’t “take some alone time” nor is it “shorten your list”, all of these people and things I do are my inspiration and my brainfood – they are truly my happiness.
You are my happiness.
Yet there are days I feel like the one alone in the middle of the crowd.
Why is that? Well, I have a theory…
All of these people I surround myself have their own set of needs and tasks and others they too need to take care of. I can ask for assistance or recognition or whatever I need, all day long, but I am the only one that is capable of knowing what I need at any given moment. If I am spending all my time worrying about what everyone else needs, I’m not listening to myself — so how can I expect anyone else to?
I’m not sure either, but I do it anyway.
I rely on others, especially family, to listen, pay attention and offer what I need to feel important in the circle. When they don’t – from my perspective – come through, I feel let down and then disappointed or forgotten.. and usually unimportant which then turns into a feeling of wondering if they really love me anyway. How draining. So how do I fix this? I’m not quite sure. My instinct says if I do for me first, I’m being selfish, but my gut says if I don’t do for me first… who will? I think the right answer is, its a fine balance and we should be able to expect from others, but on their terms, not ours.
This is not an easy concept for me to accept.
I’ve said for years, when you love someone, you need to love them how they need it, not how you think they need it. Yet, I need to learn to take care of myself with what I know I need yet also learn to accept what I receive is the gesture I am looking for, just not in the packaging I expected. I think in reality there is a middle ground – we need to love others as they need it, yet we need to appreciate the love as we are given as well – give them the same value.
Where is this middle ground and how do you find your own comfort sitting there? I don’t have an answer for that either.
So for today, I’ll just work on paying myself first –
Tks for inspiring my smile today.
I like the cute and cuddly graphics and the thoughts behind this post!
Tks for inspiring my smile today.
I like the cute and cuddly graphics and the thoughts behind this post!
Tks for inspiring my smile today.
I like the cute and cuddly graphics and the thoughts behind this post!
I always appreciate your thoughtful analysis (and the sweet graphics), but I think I have a different take on loving others. I think that for the most part you should love others as you are able, not as they need to be loved. Expecting yourself to be the perfect love dispenser takes a heavy toll.
Now, if your loved one is able to ask for something specific and you are able to give it, that's one thing. But part of taking care of yourself is to release unreasonable expectations and that includes trying to figure out what someone else needs instead of asking or being told.
I'm probably taking one line and making something out of nothing (which I do well :)) because otherwise everything else you are saying is right on target. We are responsible for our own feelings and we need to continually rearrange the load of responsibility we carry so we can get what we need, too.
I always appreciate your thoughtful analysis (and the sweet graphics), but I think I have a different take on loving others. I think that for the most part you should love others as you are able, not as they need to be loved. Expecting yourself to be the perfect love dispenser takes a heavy toll.
Now, if your loved one is able to ask for something specific and you are able to give it, that's one thing. But part of taking care of yourself is to release unreasonable expectations and that includes trying to figure out what someone else needs instead of asking or being told.
I'm probably taking one line and making something out of nothing (which I do well :)) because otherwise everything else you are saying is right on target. We are responsible for our own feelings and we need to continually rearrange the load of responsibility we carry so we can get what we need, too.
I always appreciate your thoughtful analysis (and the sweet graphics), but I think I have a different take on loving others. I think that for the most part you should love others as you are able, not as they need to be loved. Expecting yourself to be the perfect love dispenser takes a heavy toll.
Now, if your loved one is able to ask for something specific and you are able to give it, that's one thing. But part of taking care of yourself is to release unreasonable expectations and that includes trying to figure out what someone else needs instead of asking or being told.
I'm probably taking one line and making something out of nothing (which I do well :)) because otherwise everything else you are saying is right on target. We are responsible for our own feelings and we need to continually rearrange the load of responsibility we carry so we can get what we need, too.
Tks for inspiring my smile today.
I like the cute and cuddly graphics and the thoughts behind this post!
Tks for inspiring my smile today.
I like the cute and cuddly graphics and the thoughts behind this post!
Tks for inspiring my smile today.
I like the cute and cuddly graphics and the thoughts behind this post!
I always appreciate your thoughtful analysis (and the sweet graphics), but I think I have a different take on loving others. I think that for the most part you should love others as you are able, not as they need to be loved. Expecting yourself to be the perfect love dispenser takes a heavy toll.
Now, if your loved one is able to ask for something specific and you are able to give it, that's one thing. But part of taking care of yourself is to release unreasonable expectations and that includes trying to figure out what someone else needs instead of asking or being told.
I'm probably taking one line and making something out of nothing (which I do well :)) because otherwise everything else you are saying is right on target. We are responsible for our own feelings and we need to continually rearrange the load of responsibility we carry so we can get what we need, too.
I always appreciate your thoughtful analysis (and the sweet graphics), but I think I have a different take on loving others. I think that for the most part you should love others as you are able, not as they need to be loved. Expecting yourself to be the perfect love dispenser takes a heavy toll.
Now, if your loved one is able to ask for something specific and you are able to give it, that's one thing. But part of taking care of yourself is to release unreasonable expectations and that includes trying to figure out what someone else needs instead of asking or being told.
I'm probably taking one line and making something out of nothing (which I do well :)) because otherwise everything else you are saying is right on target. We are responsible for our own feelings and we need to continually rearrange the load of responsibility we carry so we can get what we need, too.
I always appreciate your thoughtful analysis (and the sweet graphics), but I think I have a different take on loving others. I think that for the most part you should love others as you are able, not as they need to be loved. Expecting yourself to be the perfect love dispenser takes a heavy toll.
Now, if your loved one is able to ask for something specific and you are able to give it, that's one thing. But part of taking care of yourself is to release unreasonable expectations and that includes trying to figure out what someone else needs instead of asking or being told.
I'm probably taking one line and making something out of nothing (which I do well :)) because otherwise everything else you are saying is right on target. We are responsible for our own feelings and we need to continually rearrange the load of responsibility we carry so we can get what we need, too.
Thank you for your bravery in facing and confronting difficult topics. This must be the most challenging topic we've shared so far. It is good to get in “your face” or “our face” or any face…Maybe it's like the old song “let's face the music and dance…” Your honesty is both disturbing and filled with wisdom…how wonderful to bask in the process of your enlightenment!!
Thank you for your bravery in facing and confronting difficult topics. This must be the most challenging topic we've shared so far. It is good to get in “your face” or “our face” or any face…Maybe it's like the old song “let's face the music and dance…” Your honesty is both disturbing and filled with wisdom…how wonderful to bask in the process of your enlightenment!!
Thank you for your bravery in facing and confronting difficult topics. This must be the most challenging topic we've shared so far. It is good to get in “your face” or “our face” or any face…Maybe it's like the old song “let's face the music and dance…” Your honesty is both disturbing and filled with wisdom…how wonderful to bask in the process of your enlightenment!!
Thank you for sharing this thought. My view is a tough one to describe and get across the way I mean it and I really appreciate your sharing your view!
There is a mini story I read years ago… one of the Chicken Soup stories or maybe it was part of 7 Habits, I don't remember… but the story is basically…
a man comes back from a long summer trip. he spent his entire summer traveling around the country visiting various major league baseball fields and watching a ton of different teams play — a coworker made the comment “i didn't realized you liked baseball that much”… and the man replied “i don't but my son does”.
thats the foundation for my thought – its not about loving differently or more effort.. but show the love in the ways others need it.. the best way you know how. i hope that makes sense. valentine's day was what, 3 days ago and a ton of guys bought chocolates and cards and flowers… my joke has always been, i'd rather be taken to Arbys – it's not really a joke. im serious. I don't want anyone to behave someway they aren't able… but I do want to feel like I am special and unique and they know me.. me specifically — I want to show others I love them unique to them as well.
😀
Thank you for sharing this thought. My view is a tough one to describe and get across the way I mean it and I really appreciate your sharing your view!
There is a mini story I read years ago… one of the Chicken Soup stories or maybe it was part of 7 Habits, I don't remember… but the story is basically…
a man comes back from a long summer trip. he spent his entire summer traveling around the country visiting various major league baseball fields and watching a ton of different teams play — a coworker made the comment “i didn't realized you liked baseball that much”… and the man replied “i don't but my son does”.
thats the foundation for my thought – its not about loving differently or more effort.. but show the love in the ways others need it.. the best way you know how. i hope that makes sense. valentine's day was what, 3 days ago and a ton of guys bought chocolates and cards and flowers… my joke has always been, i'd rather be taken to Arbys – it's not really a joke. im serious. I don't want anyone to behave someway they aren't able… but I do want to feel like I am special and unique and they know me.. me specifically — I want to show others I love them unique to them as well.
😀
Thank you for sharing this thought. My view is a tough one to describe and get across the way I mean it and I really appreciate your sharing your view!
There is a mini story I read years ago… one of the Chicken Soup stories or maybe it was part of 7 Habits, I don't remember… but the story is basically…
a man comes back from a long summer trip. he spent his entire summer traveling around the country visiting various major league baseball fields and watching a ton of different teams play — a coworker made the comment “i didn't realized you liked baseball that much”… and the man replied “i don't but my son does”.
thats the foundation for my thought – its not about loving differently or more effort.. but show the love in the ways others need it.. the best way you know how. i hope that makes sense. valentine's day was what, 3 days ago and a ton of guys bought chocolates and cards and flowers… my joke has always been, i'd rather be taken to Arbys – it's not really a joke. im serious. I don't want anyone to behave someway they aren't able… but I do want to feel like I am special and unique and they know me.. me specifically — I want to show others I love them unique to them as well.
😀
thank you so much!
thank you so much!
thank you so much!
Thank you so much – writing this really did feel like a learning moment. I came away from a grumpy morning and into a new understanding. No Idea how long it will stick.
Thank you so much – writing this really did feel like a learning moment. I came away from a grumpy morning and into a new understanding. No Idea how long it will stick.
Thank you so much – writing this really did feel like a learning moment. I came away from a grumpy morning and into a new understanding. No Idea how long it will stick.
I like the idea of knowing someone so well that you can show your love in a way that's unique to them. We have total agreement there and I think I have a better idea of what you meant.
I like the idea of knowing someone so well that you can show your love in a way that's unique to them. We have total agreement there and I think I have a better idea of what you meant.
I like the idea of knowing someone so well that you can show your love in a way that's unique to them. We have total agreement there and I think I have a better idea of what you meant.
Thank you for your bravery in facing and confronting difficult topics. This must be the most challenging topic we've shared so far. It is good to get in “your face” or “our face” or any face…Maybe it's like the old song “let's face the music and dance…” Your honesty is both disturbing and filled with wisdom…how wonderful to bask in the process of your enlightenment!!
Thank you for your bravery in facing and confronting difficult topics. This must be the most challenging topic we've shared so far. It is good to get in “your face” or “our face” or any face…Maybe it's like the old song “let's face the music and dance…” Your honesty is both disturbing and filled with wisdom…how wonderful to bask in the process of your enlightenment!!
Thank you for your bravery in facing and confronting difficult topics. This must be the most challenging topic we've shared so far. It is good to get in “your face” or “our face” or any face…Maybe it's like the old song “let's face the music and dance…” Your honesty is both disturbing and filled with wisdom…how wonderful to bask in the process of your enlightenment!!
Thank you for sharing this thought. My view is a tough one to describe and get across the way I mean it and I really appreciate your sharing your view!
There is a mini story I read years ago… one of the Chicken Soup stories or maybe it was part of 7 Habits, I don't remember… but the story is basically…
a man comes back from a long summer trip. he spent his entire summer traveling around the country visiting various major league baseball fields and watching a ton of different teams play — a coworker made the comment “i didn't realized you liked baseball that much”… and the man replied “i don't but my son does”.
thats the foundation for my thought – its not about loving differently or more effort.. but show the love in the ways others need it.. the best way you know how. i hope that makes sense. valentine's day was what, 3 days ago and a ton of guys bought chocolates and cards and flowers… my joke has always been, i'd rather be taken to Arbys – it's not really a joke. im serious. I don't want anyone to behave someway they aren't able… but I do want to feel like I am special and unique and they know me.. me specifically — I want to show others I love them unique to them as well.
😀
Thank you for sharing this thought. My view is a tough one to describe and get across the way I mean it and I really appreciate your sharing your view!
There is a mini story I read years ago… one of the Chicken Soup stories or maybe it was part of 7 Habits, I don't remember… but the story is basically…
a man comes back from a long summer trip. he spent his entire summer traveling around the country visiting various major league baseball fields and watching a ton of different teams play — a coworker made the comment “i didn't realized you liked baseball that much”… and the man replied “i don't but my son does”.
thats the foundation for my thought – its not about loving differently or more effort.. but show the love in the ways others need it.. the best way you know how. i hope that makes sense. valentine's day was what, 3 days ago and a ton of guys bought chocolates and cards and flowers… my joke has always been, i'd rather be taken to Arbys – it's not really a joke. im serious. I don't want anyone to behave someway they aren't able… but I do want to feel like I am special and unique and they know me.. me specifically — I want to show others I love them unique to them as well.
😀
Thank you for sharing this thought. My view is a tough one to describe and get across the way I mean it and I really appreciate your sharing your view!
There is a mini story I read years ago… one of the Chicken Soup stories or maybe it was part of 7 Habits, I don't remember… but the story is basically…
a man comes back from a long summer trip. he spent his entire summer traveling around the country visiting various major league baseball fields and watching a ton of different teams play — a coworker made the comment “i didn't realized you liked baseball that much”… and the man replied “i don't but my son does”.
thats the foundation for my thought – its not about loving differently or more effort.. but show the love in the ways others need it.. the best way you know how. i hope that makes sense. valentine's day was what, 3 days ago and a ton of guys bought chocolates and cards and flowers… my joke has always been, i'd rather be taken to Arbys – it's not really a joke. im serious. I don't want anyone to behave someway they aren't able… but I do want to feel like I am special and unique and they know me.. me specifically — I want to show others I love them unique to them as well.
😀
thank you so much!
thank you so much!
thank you so much!
Thank you so much – writing this really did feel like a learning moment. I came away from a grumpy morning and into a new understanding. No Idea how long it will stick.
Thank you so much – writing this really did feel like a learning moment. I came away from a grumpy morning and into a new understanding. No Idea how long it will stick.
Thank you so much – writing this really did feel like a learning moment. I came away from a grumpy morning and into a new understanding. No Idea how long it will stick.
I like the idea of knowing someone so well that you can show your love in a way that's unique to them. We have total agreement there and I think I have a better idea of what you meant.
I like the idea of knowing someone so well that you can show your love in a way that's unique to them. We have total agreement there and I think I have a better idea of what you meant.
I like the idea of knowing someone so well that you can show your love in a way that's unique to them. We have total agreement there and I think I have a better idea of what you meant.
Great perspective! I find my happiness and pay myself just about every day through my passion – which may be strange to some. 🙂
Great perspective! I find my happiness and pay myself just about every day through my passion – which may be strange to some. 🙂
Great perspective! I find my happiness and pay myself just about every day through my passion – which may be strange to some. 🙂
Great perspective! I find my happiness and pay myself just about every day through my passion – which may be strange to some. 🙂
Great perspective! I find my happiness and pay myself just about every day through my passion – which may be strange to some. 🙂
Great perspective! I find my happiness and pay myself just about every day through my passion – which may be strange to some. 🙂
Yes, this was certainly a challenging topic. You revealed wonderful insight, Jen. Great authenticity. Makes me stop and think some more.
Yes, this was certainly a challenging topic. You revealed wonderful insight, Jen. Great authenticity. Makes me stop and think some more.
Yes, this was certainly a challenging topic. You revealed wonderful insight, Jen. Great authenticity. Makes me stop and think some more.
You are right it is definitely a balance. Taking care of others while letting them take care of us but not forgetting to take care of ourselves. Say that quick 5 times! 🙂
Today I took care of myself in a simple way I took a lunch out. I normally stay at my desk. Some fresh air and time for myself was just what I needed, it was just that simple. BTW I love the Tuesday topics and I need get on it!
You are right it is definitely a balance. Taking care of others while letting them take care of us but not forgetting to take care of ourselves. Say that quick 5 times! 🙂
Today I took care of myself in a simple way I took a lunch out. I normally stay at my desk. Some fresh air and time for myself was just what I needed, it was just that simple. BTW I love the Tuesday topics and I need get on it!
You are right it is definitely a balance. Taking care of others while letting them take care of us but not forgetting to take care of ourselves. Say that quick 5 times! 🙂
Today I took care of myself in a simple way I took a lunch out. I normally stay at my desk. Some fresh air and time for myself was just what I needed, it was just that simple. BTW I love the Tuesday topics and I need get on it!
Yes, this was certainly a challenging topic. You revealed wonderful insight, Jen. Great authenticity. Makes me stop and think some more.
Yes, this was certainly a challenging topic. You revealed wonderful insight, Jen. Great authenticity. Makes me stop and think some more.
Yes, this was certainly a challenging topic. You revealed wonderful insight, Jen. Great authenticity. Makes me stop and think some more.
You are right it is definitely a balance. Taking care of others while letting them take care of us but not forgetting to take care of ourselves. Say that quick 5 times! 🙂
Today I took care of myself in a simple way I took a lunch out. I normally stay at my desk. Some fresh air and time for myself was just what I needed, it was just that simple. BTW I love the Tuesday topics and I need get on it!
You are right it is definitely a balance. Taking care of others while letting them take care of us but not forgetting to take care of ourselves. Say that quick 5 times! 🙂
Today I took care of myself in a simple way I took a lunch out. I normally stay at my desk. Some fresh air and time for myself was just what I needed, it was just that simple. BTW I love the Tuesday topics and I need get on it!
You are right it is definitely a balance. Taking care of others while letting them take care of us but not forgetting to take care of ourselves. Say that quick 5 times! 🙂
Today I took care of myself in a simple way I took a lunch out. I normally stay at my desk. Some fresh air and time for myself was just what I needed, it was just that simple. BTW I love the Tuesday topics and I need get on it!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure I feel the need to “take care of me first” but I do want to get on my list so to speak. As women I think we take on too much responsibility for taking care of everyone else first and then never having any time or energy left to take care of ourselves or to learn to ask others for help. We want our husbands and kids happy and their ego's healthy, we want to be there for our friends in crisis, for our parents, for our kids friends and their parents… the list goes on and on…
There is a book called the “5 love languages” that backs up what you talked about with loving someone how THEY need to be loved and it ties in with your story about the father and son. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html This describes the 5 languages better than I could.
I think as women we need to encourage each other to make sure we take care of ourselves too. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!