Throughout our lives we will inevitably encounter changes that require some kind of response. We can ignore or avoid the change and continue on our way. We can fight the change, hoping to win. Or we can adjust to the change… positively or negatively.
One of my favorite artists says it perfectly…
If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
We move, change jobs, get married, have children, send the kids off to college, lose a loved one, and come into direct contact with a number of curves and obstacles in between as life moves along the paths we choose. Learning to adapt and adjust is essential if we want to keep growing and progressing. The last few months have been filled with a variety of changes for me and my family. Some not as happy as others, but all requiring I do something other than simply let these things happen to me.
How do we make it through the adjustments and come out on top?
They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. ~Confucius
My preference, I’m a fighter. I want to beat the bad and come out on top with something I can be proud of or look forward to. Sometimes I can’t always come away having come up with a great solution, but the idea is to have an attitude that helps move me forward. A positive outlook is an amazing thing to have in one’s arsenal of coping skills.
Whatever you do, don’t just let the world throw itself at you. grab a net and get ready to catch what pieces you can and then try your best to do what you can with them. If something lands in your lap that you weren’t prepared for, ask for help or get creative… don’t waste the opportunity.
Not all change is good. Not all change is painless. What we do with the change, how we handle it and how we look ahead makes all the difference.
Excellent post, Jen!
(I worked so hard to edit the comment to fit in Facebook when I could've left it here. Aww man 😉
Change is hard to deal with, but alas, we have no choice. No matter what we do, things will change. Kids will grow. Friends will drift apart. We lose loved ones. The world itself changes.
A part of growing up is learning to accept it. Everyone must go through this though for some it is harder than others. For me personally it was hard to see some of my best friends drift apart. But I've learned to – it comes with age. Whether we want to or not, change is maybe the only constant in our lives.
<starting geeky comment>
I'm a big fan of the time travel genre (and people who know me realize the extent that goes). Personally I think our society's infatuation with it (think about all the time travel movies: back to the future, the time traveler's wife, etc) is in a way our method of refusing to accept change. By having a plot device that enables us to go back to the way things were, we never need to confront change – and that's the appeal. Through the protagonist, we go back in time and everything is exactly as it always was. No change at all.
<end geeky comment>
Thank you Udi – more so than my liking things to stay the same, I like to be in control of what and how things do change. It's a hard and bewildering experience when we realize there isn't anything we can do except roll with it.
Time travel… even then, things change because we'd go back to a place we'd been before with the knowledge we have now so our perspective has changed and our list of life experiences has grown. Maybe this is why I'm more a fan of the Stargate concept than the specific time travel concept – exploring regardless of time sounds pretty cool to me.
I like change (hey, I lived in 3 different continents and moved a zillion times), but then again, really miss the way certain things used to be. Even now I still look at the Manhattan skyline and miss the Twin Towers.
maybe missing things we like is supposed to be a motivator to make new things we like? i've moved a lot too… it's only been since I was married that i've stayed in one place for more than a few years at a time – guess i like where i am… could also be i'm tired of unpacking lol
I completely agree!
There's a saying in a movie I really liked that was quite a box office failure. The movie is called Strange Days, and it goes like this: “Memories are meant to fade. They're designed that way for a reason.”
I think this relates to change. We're supposed to adapt to change, designed to let go of things. As you say, one can even view this as an evolutionary necessity (a large part of my academic background). If we can't adapt, how will we deal with new situations?
Thank you for your insight Jen. Your last statement really strikes a chord with me. I try to live by the following: Embrace change or change yourself!